Cocoon meets Konoha
by slade017
Summary: Naruto tries hiding something and Lightning wants to know what it is.


Sequel to Naruto's anniversary

**I don't own Naruto or Final Fantasy XIII**

Lightning was worried about Naruto lately he'd been acting very suspicious like he was hiding something. Of course he would always deny it and change the subject with that damn smile of his, all it took was one smile and all the worlds' females were bewitched. Lightning was determined however to not let this matter rest there was something that was affecting Naruto's behavior and she was going to find out what it was if she had to knock him out, tie him up, and threaten to cut off his man parts so be it.

Somewhere else Naruto felt great fear for his family jewels. No now wasn't the time to be distracted he had to keep watch on his target. It was him alright the pervy sage casually picking up women for information.

"I don't get it how did he find me, how did he get here, why won't those Konoha bastards just leave me alone?" Those were the thoughts that went through Naruto's head as he saw that damn sage writing on that note book of his not for the first time did Naruto thank his wisdom of not letting people know where he lived. Still he and Éclair were famous here and for someone like Jiraiya finding out where they lived wouldn't take very long.

"I have to deal with this problem quickly."

Naruto quickly slipped away and got back home making sure that he wasn't being followed the whole way there. He was met with an upset wife if he had to choose between Jiraiya and Lightning in a bad mood he'd pick Jiraiya.

"What's going on Naruto?" Her tone indicated she wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't act stupid Naruto tell me now what are hiding."

"What I'm hiding?"

This just seemed to make Lightning madder "something is making you act differently Naruto and you're going to tell me what it is."

"Hey look its Serah!"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Hello Naruto, Éclair" she then found herself in a hug from Naruto.

"Were really glad to have you over too hell stay overnight if ya want!" Naruto mentally thanked Serah for saving his ass. Lightning glared at Naruto as if saying "this isn't over."

Serah went over to Lightning "what's up with him?"

"He's hiding something your arrival just saved him."

"Sorry."

"No need I'll get him next time" said Lightning.

Naruto went back to his room and prepared for his next meeting with Jiraiya he was going to need a lot of planning for this if he was right the sage was going to use whatever he had to bring him back and he would not let that happen. Suddenly Naruto heard footsteps and hid what he was working on and pretending he was on the phone.

"What are you doing" asked Lightning?

"Not now Light I'm on the phone and it's a very important call (ring) (ring) (ring)." Naruto paled as he heard the phone ringing as if it signaled his execution.

"An important call is it?" Naruto looked at who was calling and swore if he lived Sazh would pay. Lightning took the phone from Naruto and answered it.

"Sorry Sazh Naruto can't come to the phone he's going to be "occupied" for a long time." Lightning then crushed the phone in her grip.

(Gulp)

"Now Naruto" said Lightning coming towards him like his impending doom while he coward in the corner. "I don't like being lied to so start talking."

Naruto at this point did what any other brave man would do in this situation…he spilled his guts.

"So this powerful guy from your world has been here for the last 4 days, and you keep it from me why?" asked Lightning.

"Um didn't want to worry you."

"Naruto."

"Yes?"

'You're an idiot."

"I know."

"So what should we do about this?"

Naruto thought for a moment "we should gather everyone in preparation in case the sage decides to bring back-up. At first they will probably start by saying how they want to bring me home and we can spring a trap on them."

"What trap?"

"I haven't figured that out yet" Naruto admitted lamely.

"You…wait I've got it I know what I'll do! But Lightning I'm going to need you Fang, Serah and Vanille to close your eyes when I give the signal."

"Why?"

"Just trust me on this one please?" asked Naruto.

(Next day)

Naruto stood alone in a street with his friends hidden nearby Naruto knew that Jiraiya would probably sense them but really that was the point make him think an ambush was the trap. Kyuubi then warned Naruto that the sage had hidden himself nearby and was approaching from behind.

"Hello Pervy sage."

"Hello Naruto" responded Jiraiya throwing off his stealth jutsu. As planned Jiraiya sensed Naruto's "supposed" ambush and got ready to summon at a moment's notice. As he didn't know what abilities these people had he had to be careful?

Naruto turned around to face his former sensei "so why did you come here?"

"I'm here to take you back Naruto just come quietly and none of your friends get hurt in the process."

"Friends? What friends?"

"The ones you have hidden Naruto" said Jiraiya he then got into battle stance. Naruto wouldn't have chosen them if he wasn't sure he could overcome him.

"Oh you mean these friends…Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Jiraiya was surrounded by shadow clones.

"What's he doing" asked Hope?

"No idea" answered Fang.

Naruto's tone then grew dark "now behold a jutsu so powerful that god himself folds before it."

All the females recognized their cue and closed their eyes tight shut. Remembering Naruto's warning not to open them no matter what.

All the clones transformed to reveal an army of naked Lightning's, Fang's, and Tsunade's. Jiraiya's brain went "three two one, Liftoff!"

He shot off the ground with rocket like force how on earth someone could have so much blood was unknown.

Naruto dispelled his clones and wiped the blood off his nose before telling everyone to open their eyes.

Lightning opened her eyes to the sight of a scene that looked like it belonged in a horror movie. There was blood everywhere and not fake but real!

"Hope!" she cried when she saw he was bleeding too and looked very dazed and happy?

"Snow!" cried Serah.

"Sazh!" cried Vanille.

Naruto what the hell did you do?" screamed Lightning.

"Trust me Éclair you don't want to know "said Naruto.

Jiraiya's trial

"Jiraiya you are guilty accused of sexual harassment of multiple women and guiltily accused of attempted kidnapping of a cocoon hero how does the guilty defendant plead?"

It didn't take an idiot to see this trial was a lost cause considering he had no lawyer and the judge kept saying guilty but Jiraiya was always prepared with a backup plan.

"Your honour I plead not guilty to all charges."

"Liar!" cried one of the women in the audience who happened to be one of the women he peeped on.

""Okay then I plead not guilty to the second charge."

"The guilty defendant clearly shows no remorse for his crimes."

Jiraiya was now getting desperate "now wait a minute your honour I admit to the first charge but I couldn't have done the second charge because Naruto belongs to my world."

The entire courtroom burst into protest at this "ORDER ORDER! Explain how our hero belongs in your world."

Jiraiya breathed in a sigh of relief hoping these people would listen to him "Naruto Uzumaki is part of my world's military force and the heir of a very important family the Namikaze's therefore I have the right to force him back if need be."

"Do you have any guilty proof of these claims?"

"His records and his birth certificate your honour" said Jiraiya he smirked as the judge red them thinking he'd won the case really he should've known better.

The judge truly didn't expect the man to have a case so was quite unnerved. "Naruto Uzumaki can defend against these charges?"

Naruto smirked the pervy sage was just making this too easy. "Your Honour I call the defendant to the stand! Now Jiraiya does it mention in these "records" of yours that I resigned before leaving your world?"

The smirk quickly left Jiraiya's face. "Uh well ya see…The guilty defendant cannot disprove my claim therefore your honour he should be locked up."

"YEAH!"

"Wait wait I have more evidence Naruto your father was…The head of the Namikaze clan and a village leader." Jiraiya looked on with wide eyes.

"What you think I didn't know about that anyone with eyes and deductive reasoning can figure it out."

Jiraiya was kept silent for a while wondering how his former student could have known but now that he thought about it, it was so obvious that Naruto and Minato were related it was probably the most ill guarded secret in ninja history all you had to do was compare Naruto to the fourth.

"But that's the main reason to come home Naruto your father would've wanted you to be a Konoha ninja and be happy there."

"He also wanted me to be a hero to the villagers and that went well didn't it?" asked Naruto with obvious sarcasm. "Regardless he is dead and has no say in how I live my life, and neither do you."

The judge spoke again "does the guilty defendant have anything else to guilty say before he is guilty sentenced?"

"Naruto whether you like it or not you are the heir of the Namikaze clan and are obligated by law to go back to Konoha."

"Wrong again old man" said Lightning who wanted the case over and done with. "Your honour I wish to present evidence that my husband belongs here and not" she glared at Jiraiya making him gulp "with Konoha."

"Wait Naruto you got married with her! Is the apocalypse coming? Oww!" he yelled as Naruto kicked him in the balls of course no-one reprimanded him for it.

"Permission granted Mrs. Uzumaki."

"Good now Naruto come here."

"Do I really have to do it?"

"Yes now move."

"Fine" Naruto walked up to lightning, she then turned him around and lifted his shirt up tattooed on his back was "**Property of Éclair Uzumaki". **Mutters from women in the crowd that sounded like "damnshe marked him first" were heard, Jiraiya got a nosed bleed. "And further more there is this." The judge took the piece of paper noticing it as Naruto's wedding vows.

"Dear Éclair you have given me your hand in marriage the most I can do in return is to renounce any heritage or connection to my former world to stay with you and prove my love forever."

All the diehard romantics had tears in their eyes at that point.

"The defendant (sob) is f-f-found guilty of all (sob) c-charges."

Jiraiya's jaw dropped to the ground how could his apprentice outsmart him and land a hottie while he's at it?

"That's not all he's done your honour" said Naruto "ladies read this he writes it" he tossed the orange book to a group of women. To those that know what book I'm referring to Jiraiya's chances of being unharmed at this trial had just fallen so low you'd need something stronger than an electron microscope to see them.

"Sorry Naruto but I'm bringing you back summoning jutsu…Summoning jutsu SUMMONING JUTSU!"

"Really now did you seriously think I would capture you without binding your chakra?" asked Naruto.

"Jiraiya" said the women in the room looking at him murderously.

"Naruto come on I know I wasn't the best godfather but really isn't this too much?"

"Yeah your right after all you only peeped on my mom at the hot springs" the mob got even more deadlier "and you peeped on my wife while she was in the shower but that's not too bad right?" asked Naruto before he teleported away. Jiraiya was left to deal with the very angry and deadly female mob.

"Heh heh uh m-mercy?"

Not a moment later a scream with a pitch so high that opera singer's could only dream of reaching it echoed through Cocoon. Jiraiya was of course thrown in prison after the beating; Naruto swore the man had a blood line to take so much punishment.

"So Éclair why did I need to show that tattoo?" asked Naruto.

"Think of it as a message to the fan girls that your "mine" and I'm not sharing" answered Éclair.

"Thanks I think."

One week later

The girls found out how Naruto beat Jiraiya by threatening Hope, and Naruto got the shit beaten out of him and two months on the couch as punishment (although he was back in the bed in a week).

Jiraiya was able to bargain his way out of life in prison, now he has his chakra permanently sealed and instead does life time community service. "Step right up pay 200 GIL and hit the pervert for five minutes!" Jiraiya looked and saw a very long line of angry women more than willing to pay. "Why didn't I choose prison?"

"OWWW!"

Note: there will be a sequel to this for those that want more also I'm not abandoning Proto harry just writing other things to deal with writer's block it's a bitch!


End file.
